Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Patience of a GPS

If only I was as patient as my GPS. 

Here is my GPS first thing in the morning.
I wish I could get a sign like that for my forehead for first thing in the morning. 

Michelle (the name of the voice we chose for our GPS) never sounds the least bit annoyed when I ignore her directions. She will say "Make a legal u-turn" innumerable times in the same sweet tone. She never says "How many times have I told you to make a legal u-turn?" and she never says "If I have to say make a legal u-turn one more time there will be consequences."

Since I know I will need to repeat myself a lot throughout my kids' childhood, I may as well be sweet about it. I mean what kid heard "Put your shoes away, please" and never had to be told again? Or after being told "Please don't do that" completely stopped all strange noises and loud tappings? What child only had to hear once "Elbows off the table please."?

None. 

Actually, for a couple of years now I have been looking for a GPS voice that WILL nag and get frustrated with me. I think it would be funny. 

Somehow I don't think my kids find it funny when I nag and talk impatiently.


So, the plan is this: talk like Michelle even if I feel like exploding and only use these three precious names in love (or real danger). The rest of the time I go to them and get eye contact first or use a sweet nick name that softens my voice. 

Yikes! I think I have my work cut out for me. 

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