"He Borrowed Money From Us"

I have been very interested in the discussions and articles online that have inspired and been inspired by the movie Poverty, inc. They have really transformed the way I see charity and missionary work. Today I came across this article by a man named Nik Ripken. It is very eye opening and worth a discussion in itself, however, as I was reading, I began to think of something other than foreign missions. 

This long quote made me think of your typical parish catechesis: 

"Though our motives are not always suspect, we generally come and tell other people to “sit down and listen” while we stand and speak. We are aggressive, and we expect local people to remain passive. We bring the gospel, Bibles, and hymnbooks. We provide baptisms, discipleship, and places to meet. We choose the leaders. We care for orphans, build orphanages, rescue the broken, and care for the crippled. 

And those are all wonderful things. 

But here’s the challenge: What’s left for local people to do? What’s left for the Holy Spirit to provide? Where do we model how to trust God and his provision through the local body of believers? Where do local believers find their worth, their sanctified sense of signficance? What gifts and sacrifice can they bring to this enterprise of taking the gospel to the ends of the earth? 

Rarely did the apostle Paul create dependency upon himself. Often in his letters, Paul expressed how desperately he needed his brothers and sisters in Christ. He called those friends by name years later. He never forgot them. When possible, he returned to be with them. When he could not go, he sent them someone else. And he faithfully wrote to them, expressing his love, encouragement, and correction. In a word, he needed them."

In case you are not getting the connection yet, let me paraphrase Mr. Ripken's article a little: 

Though our motives are sincere, we generally tell parents "it is your job, but you aren't doing it, so hand over your kids". We expect that they will fail, so we plan for it. Here is a class for every age, a great textbook, a volunteer catechist ("Would you like to be one too?") and a couple of important meetings for you to attend. Here is a sacrament, and a certificate. 

Look how many kids we catechize each year!  

What is left for parents to do? Where do we model families passing on the faith? Where do parents find their vocation, the sacramental graces designed for passing on the Faith, their own relationship with God?  

And the clincher: 

Rarely did the Apostle Paul create dependency. 

And yet that is what we do! We have been creating dependent parents for at least three generations. Our wonderful parish programs are sometimes such an embarrassment of riches that the local economy (catechesis in the home) is rendered unnecessary and collapses. Or, at the very least, the local population (families) feel ineffectual and unable to meet their own needs. 

What is the solution? Certainly not replacing great programs with boring ones, or even stopping all parish catechesis of children. What then? 

Well I looked at Ripkin's article for what he found as a working solution for the world of foreign missions. The folks he spoke to in these persecuted communities all said that they didn't know what a good missionary should do, but they knew "who they loved", and all of them (in the particular area where he began this quest) named one man. When questioned further about why this particular missionary was so great, they reluctantly said "He borrows money from us."

In other words, he needs them as much as they need him. They felt he was a partner with them, not a giver, giving to the takers. 

So, the questions we should be asking about how to better catechize children in a parish setting are not the ones centered on books, crafts, activities, or even teacher training, but how do we allow parents to be TRUE partners in this venture. How do we, as catechists, become dependent on the parents in such a way that they feel empowered? 

I can't say that I know exactly how to do this, but I know at the core of it is relationship. If priests and catechists in a parish setting can be in relationship with each and every family that has children and needs help with catechizing their children, then we might have a chance if impacting that little family economy in a positive way. 

Crazy? Completely unrealistic? Try changing the world with a pack of 12 sinful, faulty, not extraordinary men. 

A Mother's Prayer Companion: A Review

I first heard about it on Facebook. 

An old Ann Arbor friend, Christa, recommended A Mother’s Prayer Companion, created by a friend of hers from Franciscan University of Steubenville. Right off the bat I could see it had to be a good recommendation. Christa (whose recommendations in the past had been so spot on*) and FUS (my alma mater). I checked out the link. 

After perusing the website, filling a basket, then backing away while I doubted myself (“Would I just use it for a few days and then forget about it? Would it end up a pretty binder and a good idea, but no follow through on my part?”), I finally bought it. 

I was very excited when I got it. I put together the binder and got a pen and pencil case to fit it and found the perfect place for it—on a little table, next to a comfy chair that I had just moved into my bedroom to be my little prayer corner. 

I think it took a few days to actually sit down and use it. 

At first, I read through the pages-- one for Jim, one for each of the kids and one for me. For each person there were spots to write down gifts that I am thankful for and intentions. I wondered if I should write it in pencil, in case I make a mistake (like I could make a mistake about what to pray for?!!). Or should I find colored pens to make it all pretty? (No, that was too much pressure). 

Instead I filled out the “other intentions” page…that was easy. Black pen felt bold and confident, but I did it anyway. 

There, I was ready to pray. I just read through each page, stopping to fill in the blanks in my head. The prayers were what my Catechetics professor would have called “Scripture speak”. Verses from the Bible, slightly altered so that they made sense as a prayer. The citations were there and I looked up a few. But mostly I just read through each one, inserting the correct name and intentions and gifts. 

I was hooked. I finally felt like I was DOING something about all the things that swirl in my head—Will this child ever get over that issue? Will that child ever find his/her place in life? How do I help that child develop that gift? How can I help Jim with work? 

After about a month I began to write down intentions (in pen), and soon I was writing the answers to some of those prayers on the blank page opposite! 

I also wrote down gifts to be thankful for, including those little characteristics that are trying now, but you know are really a future gift in the making (her intensity, his entrepreneurial spirt, her single mindedness). 

Although I can’t say I use it everyday, and I often forget to bring it to adoration, it is my place to go when I feel myself fretting, and it is my anchor when I don’t “feel” like praying, or I am so distracted I feel like I “don’t have time” to pray. It has become such an integral part of my prayer life that I began to wish my kids could hear me pray some of these words: 

I praise you Lord, for (fill in the name) is fearfully and wonderfully made. 

What kid wouldn’t love to hear their mother say that about them? So I took parts of the prayers and copied them onto another page and began to pray aloud over each of my kids at bedtime. It was already our routine for me to pray something, like the Memorize, over them as I said good night, so this was easy to substitute once in a while. Then it became a nightly thing. 

They loved it! I could see my youngest grin at me in the darkness as I said the words. My boy would cuddle down deep and lean into me while I prayed over him. 

After a few months of this, my boy asked if he could pray over me. To my surprise he had it memorized perfectly. He put in “Mama” wherever I usually said their names. Now I was the one grinning in the darkness and leaning in to cuddle a little. 

After all of this, it was a no-brainer this past Christmas to buy one for my sister, sisters-in-law, and my mother. 

If I could buy one for every Mama I know, I would. Instead I write this, so you might go check it out and get one for yourself (or any Mama you know).

*About 16 years ago I showed Christa the online profile of a man named Jim, and she confirmed that I should write to him, and the rest is history.

The Fall Festival Problem

So modern man

one day--any day--gets up and says, "Let's celebrate!" And without any warrant, he decrees that his town from now on will have a festival on, let's say, August 18th; and as he can dance and eat and drink on any day between January 1st and December 31st, the most he will experience is "a good time." But he will never be able to "celebrate a feast."

(From Around The Year With The Trapp Family by Maria Augusts Trapp )

I love fall. And I love the idea of visiting a cider mill (like I did once in Michigan) or heading to an apple orchard (like we did in northern California), or even the occasional pumpkin patch with the big corn maze (well, maybe not the maze, that included lots of tears). 

However, I have become increasingly saddened at the Fall Festivals at Saint So-and-So's that dominate the local events calendars. 

Why are Catholic parishes always putting all of their celebration momentum into a fall festival complete with pumpkins, scarecrows and even haunted houses (I once helped build one of those at my parish festival some 30 {gasp!} years ago!)...especially when we have the perfect fall FEAST to celebrate?

Why are we not having huge All Saint's Day celebrations? We could still have games and rides and raffles and raise money. We would just do that with a focus on the saints. 

You see, as Catholics we have such a great heritage of celebration and yet we seem to forget this when everyday parish life sets in. 

Nobody could stand a Thanksgiving Day dinner every day of the year. There

can only be mountains if there are also valleys....that wonderful, eternal rhythm of high and low tide that makes up the year of the Church: times of waiting alternate with times of fulfillment, the lean weeks of Lent with the feasts of Easter and Pentecost, times of mourning with seasons of rejoicing. Modern man lost track of this.

(From Around The Year With The Trapp Family by Maria Augusts Trapp )

I did a little Google search and found a couple of parishes who have had an All Saint's Day Fall Festival in the past, but I couldn't tell how focused on the Faith it was. To be honest, I can't recall even one of the many parishes I have attended making a big deal of their patron saint's feast day, or of their patronage at all. I can remember doing some things at one of the parish Catholic schools where I worked, but even then, it was downplayed. The patrons were martyrs and the teachers were concerned that the stories (even explaining the reason for the red uniforms) was too gruesome to mention to the kids. 

Our current parish mentions their patron at the end of every homily and often at the end of daily Mass, which is great! But there was very little (if anything) done to celebrate his feast day. Yet, they have a big Fall Festival which occupies lots of time and energy from parishioners and from the school. I am sure it brings in money as well. Yet I still don't understand, outside of the money, what is the point? 

It would be so easy to transform the Fall Festival into and All Saint's Day Festival. Back in the day, when I worked at the Spiritus Sanctus Academy in Ann Arbor, Michigan, the school had an All Saint's Day festival. It was held in the school gym and the games all had clever saint names and themes like St. Peter's Fishing Pond, or St. Francis of Assisi Shooting Gallery (just kidding...maybe it should be St. Francis's Petting Zoo?), and the kids dressed as their patron saints, and candy was the prize at most of the games. There was usually a parade and some prizes for the best costumes. 

All of those things could happen at a parish All Saint's Day celebration. The day could start early with the St. Teresa of Avila Mud Run. A special Mass including the Litany of the Saints could be followed by St. Matthew's Silver Dollar Pancake breakfast. 

Then the Festival would begin. In addition to the games (like St. Bernadette's Sweeping Contest or St. Philomena's Dunk Tank), just think of all the great ethnic food that could be served thoughout the day in the name of various saints! St. Stanislaus' Kielbasa, St. Anthony's Calzones, St Andrew Kim's Korean BBQ, St. Joan of Arc's Stakehouse (yes, I meant to spell it that way), St. Lawrence's Grill for hotdogs and hamburgers. And each booth could have a brief explanation of the connection to the saint, especially for the less obvious ones. 

Of course, there will have to be a grand procession at some point. And the church could be open all day and maybe special images of the saints placed around the edges, especially if it does not already have many of these. 

Actually, you it doesn't need to be fall to have a proper parish-wide feast! If the parish opts for a fair during some other season, why not make it honor of their patron!

See how easy that was? I can't be the only one who has thought of this. Sure, it can get corny, but that is a fall thing too! 

Why should the St. Joe's Parish Fall Festival look just the same as the one at the local public elementary school? 

Why opt for "a good time" when you can have a FEAST?

What do you think? Does your parish do anything like this? 

Seriously! It's Just A Game!

Soccer. Maybe I am naive, but I never thought I would hear such vitriol about a sport from people with whom I generally agree about some of the the big things of life (like politics and religion). 

And the criticisms are pretty lame (in fact much of it boils down to "a lot of liberals like soccer so I must hate it.")

I know, I know. Most of these rants are meant tongue-in-cheek. 

Seriously though, the criticisms are revealing. They reveal people who are  uninterested in liking soccer. Which is fine! There is no reason why they need to. I can rail on and on about basketball being boring because I have no desire to watch it. 

But if you are going to criticize it, at least learn a little about the game. Most have not spent any time understanding the game. They are thinking primarily of the kid’s version of the game. 

Take Ann Coulter for example: 

Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game -- and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box.  

She is comparing little kid's soccer games to professional hockey. Really? She has obviously never watched Clint Dempsey break his nose on someone else’s head (or was it a shoulder?). Not to mention that Brazilian player that cracked his vertebrae. 

I am not bragging about the brutality of soccer, I am just pointing out that you can’t make her argument if you have spent any time paying attention to the grown up version of soccer. 

Which leads me to MY criticism of soccer…and all other sports in this country and around the world. And Ann Coulter actually hits on this pervasive and troubling issue. She says: 

Most sports are sublimated warfare. 

So most sports involve men channeling their war-like tendencies into play. Fine. I get that at a certain level. The problem is that we are tempted to then raise the symbolic meaning of those sports to something noble (if we hold the soldier in high esteem) or we are tempted to be fearful of sports and moralize about how inhumane they are (if we hold the soldier in low esteem). 

Either way, we are taking sports too seriously. We are forgetting that sport is play. Watching it is entertainment. Pure entertainment. A distraction. Not a religious event (though some of the ceremonies and celebrations have all the marks of liturgy). Not a clash of civilizations or ideologies (though the intensity with which the fans defend their team and sport would lead you to believe otherwise). 

They are just play. Highly paid play. 

Perhaps Ms. Coulter would have been better off comparing kid’s soccer to kid’s hockey and kid’s football. And remind herself that the professional versions of those sports (all of them) are merely examples of society being willing to pay full grown men and women to play for their own diversion. And American football is no better than soccer at doing that. 

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with diversion or entertainment. Lets just remember that while sports can serve some good purposes, it is really all about fun.  

DevOps Mom's Way: A Review of The Phoenix Project

I have so many books to read and to write about, but this is perhaps the most surprising one.

A month ago Jim began reading a book about IT (information technology--which is what he does at Chevron) and when I found out it was a novel, I scoffed. Seriously? A novel about IT? Is it a joke?

Well no, it wasn't a joke. In fact he said it was quite interesting. So, against all odds, I read it, too.

The book is called The Pheonix Project and it centers around a guy named Bill who is forced into a promotion he doesn't want. He suddenly becomes VP of IT and is given a few months to straighten up all the IT problems that the company has or they will split up the business and out-source IT.

So Bill sets out to fix things and finds it is worse than he thought. He is dealing with four entities: the business folks (the people directly responsible for the product that the business sells), the developers (guys who design applications to help the business sell the product), operations (the guys who manage and maintain all the applications and equipment everyone uses to do business), and security (the guys who make sure they don't break laws or get hacked).

What should be happening is that the business folks come up with an idea that will increases sales of their product using technology, the idea goes to the developers who come up with the application to make that idea happen, they hand it off to operations who implement it and maintain it and security makes sure it is all legal and safe.

However, that isn't how it works. It is more like this: business guys have "brilliant" idea (that is at least half impossible), developers promise to make it even more brilliant ignoring the impossible parts, the application is delivered late and full of weak points, operations implements and as things go wrong at the weak points they patch it with duck tape and magic, and security frets nervously about the risks. They are all like one big dysfunctional family and whenever anything fails everyone starts pointing fingers.

Spock is development. Scotty is ops. 

From what I understand this is a pretty accurate picture of IT in most companies.

Just in time, Bill meets a guru of sorts, a guy who is a potential board member and has years of experience in manufacturing, with hands-on experience on the plant floor. Bill is skeptical to say the least--what can a manufacturing guy teach an IT guy. IT is where all the geniuses go right?

But what he learns is that all the technology used by the business to do its business works much like the machines on the floor of the manufacturing plant. And that the process improvements that have been made to manufacturing over the years actually apply to IT.

What eventually happens is IT learns to work together (they merge into what is popularly called DevOps---look it up, you can find youtube videos and conferences all about DevOps) anticipating weak points before the applications go live and actually fixing broken things rather than using duct tape while pointing fingers. And the business folks learn to appreciate the challenges of IT and the value of IT to the company's bottom line.

The book has a happy ending, which is always a plus.

And I not only got a much better appreciation and understanding of what my husband does when he leaves us each day, but I got a lot of food for thought on the topic of process and work. I learned terms like work in progress (WIP--a tidy acronym for all the stuff going on around my house), planned work vs unplanned work (what Mom doesn't get that??), constraints (points where work piles up and sits undone --can anyone say "laundry room"), change management (how we keep up with all the little things we do to maintain a happy healthy home including everything from policing those hotspots--places where messes pile up--to dental check ups, to getting kids from point A to point B on time).

I can see now how that manufacturing plant has a lot to teach me about MY work: which is creating a home in which my family can grow and blossom.

One of the points made in the book that I found very striking was concerning  quality control. The example was a car manufacturer (I think it was Toyota) that had a pull cord at each work center. This cord stopped everything if something was wrong with the piece being made. So, lets say a car door was going through being formed, painted, parts attached to it and at some point something isn't up to snuff. The guy at that work center pulls the cord and all work on the plant floor stops.

When asked how often he thought this happened in a given day Bill thought about 20 times sounded reasonable. However the number was more like 1,000. One thousand times all work comes to a complete halt so that the problem can be fixed. And, in the long run, all those stops pay off in a product of higher quality with much fewer faults at the end of the line.

One thousand tiny interruptions as opposed to any number of giant failures a the end of the line.

When I read this I saw in my minds eye all the times I stop my day to correct a child's behavior, help him come up with a kinder way to approach his sister, help her deal with that frustration in a better way. Far from nagging, these gentle reminders and course corrections are how I help my children grow in virtue.

In fact, I do the same to myself. How many times do I confess the same sins. Each day is a struggle to bring my own selfish impulses under control and focus them on the goal*: the entire Kennedy Family in Heaven.

Pope Francis takes a moment to pull the cord and work on quality control. 

Saints are the product in this little factory. God provides the material and power and we do our best to refine the processes and pull the cord a thousand times a day to start over. Of course, we do that with God's grace too.

I think my attraction to this book is that the author is uncovering truth.

I am fond of making the totally obvious statement: Truth is Truth. It doesn't have to be about God to be universally true (though you can argue that it is all about God, just not always so obviously).

When something is true you can apply it to many different aspects of life.

This book was about IT, but it was about life too.

My life.

That is why I liked it so much.

*By the way, The Phoenix Project was based on a book called "The Goal" which is a novel about the Theory of Constraints. Jim is reading it now and I will read it next.

Forever Connected, On Purpose

Back in 2012 I wrote a quick blog post, called Forever Connected, about a concept that I think about quite often. You can read it yourself, but to sum up I told the story of how an “accident” of time and place meant that I was in close proximity to a man, (a husband, father, police officer) at the moment that he died. I did not see him or know it was happening at the time. But the incident affected my life in a small way that day. And I felt that I had been given a responsibility to pray for him and his wife and kids. I have tried to remember that responsibility often, along with the other people whose deaths I recall but are not family members. 

"None of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself."Rom 14:7.

This morning we (Jim, the kids and I) were talking about the Scrutinies, those rites that happen during Lent and are part of the RCIA process*. (Stay with me…this is connected, I promise). And we decided to look up what the “Scrutinies” actually were. So we read aloud from the rite itself. There were intercessory prayers and prayers of exorcism. Through those prayers we learned that the Scrutinies are meant to be moments of cleansing and conversion for those people who are coming into the Church. They are meant to reflect on their sins and weaknesses and any remaining obstacles to following Christ with their whole being. The rest of the parish is also called to reflect in the same way on our own life with Christ. 

Our discussion then turned to the fact that these people really need prayer during this time, and wouldn’t it be nice if we knew who they were so we could pray for them by name. 

The Children of Fatima
Their story is another influence in our reflection, as a family, on the power of prayer and value of simply offering our little, everyday crosses as a sacrifice and a prayer for those who cannot or will not pray for themselves. 

This reminded me of something I recently did on impulse. One day we were at a weekday Mass, probably a Monday, and in the pew was a small program leaflet from a wedding that took place over the weekend. I started reading it, curious if I could tell anything about the couple from the program. I was searching it for signs that they were tuned into their faith and really understanding what they were being called too in this sacrament. But I really couldn’t tell either way. 

It occurred to me that I should say a prayer for them. And I did. 

Then, when Mass was over, I spontaneously folded the little program and stuck it in my Magnificat. For the rest of the week, whenever I opened my Magnificat at Mass I saw their names on the front of their pink and black program: Kimberly and Myles. I continued to offer little prayers for them. When the next month’s Magnificat came, I moved the program into that one too. 

I think perhaps I am called to pray for them…forever. A lifetime commitment to a pair of total strangers. 

"If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.” 1 Cor 12:26-27.

And now to the idea. I have no sense of whether or not this is a common practice in any parish. Maybe it is an old idea. But we thought it was needed, and a 

ministry that a quiet little, uninvolved, not very socially inclined family like our own could participate in easily. 

What if we had a ministry of prayer for some of the people in the midst of life-altering moments such as marriage, conversion to the Catholic faith, and the Baptism of their first child. 

What if parish members were encouraged to adopt a couple who is married in their parish and commit to praying for them for as long as they can, or for a set amount of time, or for the rest of their lives. The commitment could be put in writing, in some sort of notebook. Or not. 

You could even take an extra step and connect each couple to an adoptive family who would host them for dinner several times over their first year, sharing their family’s life and commitment to Christ with this newly launched family. This would be good for both the just-married and for couples who are bringing their first child for baptism, another threshold moment. 

This sort of ministry would, of course, be helpful for new Catholics during the RCIA process as well as during that Neophyte year (the first year after initiation) and beyond. Those folks would benefit from both specific prayer commitments (anonymous or not) and from various connections to families throughout the parish. 

Back in February, I ranted about the problem with our approach to Catechesis and, well, to quote myself, I said: 

Focus on the core, what Blessed John Paul II called “the primordial sacrament”, marriage. …

and..

One way to do this is to take advantage of threshold moments by making personal connections and providing support, social contexts and educational opportunities. 

And, may I add now, prayer! 

Of course, this doesn’t need to be an organized ministry. Anyone can consult the banns of marriage in their parish bulletin (do they do that in all parishes?) and pick a couple to pray for. I also know many parishes post pictures and or names of the adults who are coming into the Church, so you could choose one for whom to pray. 

But a more formal approach might give more parishioners a real, tangible way to participate in parish ministries when life affords little time, energy, or inclination to do so in the usual ways. 

Of course, the real reason to do this is because prayer works and these people need all the prayers they can get. 

There are moments in life in which we are faced with clear choices, moments when we have a chance to make a fresh start on a path that may be the difference between a life of discipleship or a life of luke-warm faith. Three of those moments that are easily identified by a parish are marriage, the baptism of your child (especially the first), and conversion to the Catholic Faith. 

Here is a way to influence those folks in the right direction--and it costs zero money (unless you buy a notebook to write it in), takes up zero facility space (except the space to store the notebook), and anyone can do it (from the youngest to the oldest, the least talented to the most, the extreme introvert to the social animal). 

What do you think? Does your parish do anything like this? Am I just re-inventing the wheel? 

*RCIA stands for Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults and is the way that non-Catholic adults become Catholic. The Scrutinies are prayers and such done at Mass for three Sundays leading up to the Easter Vigil when those folks receive the sacraments and are formally grafted onto the Catholic Family tree. 

Excuse me while I commune with myself and subdue my feelings....

A few quotes from our reading...

The Family That Overtook Christ  by M. Raymond

"Man was made to know....that means that the intellect must be developed: for man was made to know both here and hereafter. In fact that is Christ's description of heaven..."This is eternal life, that they may know..." pg. 222

"...those who speak most glibly of intellectual pride are usually bogged down and almost inextricably mired in intellectual sloth." pg. 223

I am still in the middle of this book, but I highly recommend it. There are so many other great quotes, but these were from today's reading.

The Story of Church by Rev. B. N. Forner, C.S.B.  (this is an old Church history text I got someplace I can't recall)
I have not read this whole book that I can remember. But I was looking up something about Abelard and Bernard of Clairveaux and I found this:

"There were parish schools which taught reading, writing, arithmetic and grammar, but they were not very numerous unit the end of the twelfth century. Prior to that time, the average boy received his primary instruction from his parents or from private tutors. At the Cathedral School, he entered upon his secondary education and was introduced to the liberal arts. These consisted of grammar, rhetoric, and logic which were called the Trivium; and arithmetic, geometry, astronomy and music which were called the Quadrivium."

The reason I liked this quote was because it confirmed to me that the liberal arts were originally part of secondary education. And primary, or elementary education was for basic skills like reading, writing and arithmetic, no to mention the work of children: play.

And, the source of this blog post's title, from our current bedtime read aloud: The Children of the New Forest by Captain Marryat.

"Your intelligence [as in"what you just told me"] has so astounded me that I can listen to nothing else till I have had a little while to commune with myself and subdue my feelings."

I am practicing this line to use in everyday life.

Kennedy McMuffins-A New Favorite Recipe

I am sure this one has been around for awhile, but we have recently discovered it's easy, convenient, yumminess.

The last few Sundays I have made a about a dozen "McMuffin" eggs and we each had one for breakfast and saved the rest for the week. Jim has brought them to work and the kids have made their own breakfast with them during the week.

Here is the basic recipe:

Ingredients:

• something to grease the muffin pans with (I have used spray and butter)
• eggs (enough for each muffin section)
• sliced ham (Or not. Apparently you can use spinach in this spot too, but we haven't.)
• salt
• pepper
• grated cheese (optional)
• Thomas's English Muffins (I am tempted to say that these are ABSOLUTELY crucial. But you really don't need any bread, or you can use your favorite toasting bread.)

Heat oven to 350.
Spray or otherwise grease muffin tins.
Line each muffin spot (what do you call that?) with a slice of ham. If your ham is too thick just chop it up and drop it into each spot.
Crack an egg into each spot. I use my handy-dandy-too-small-for-gravy-gravy-boat to pour each one in. (see picture)
Bake in the oven for 15 minutes, give or take.
Eat with toasted English Muffin with real butter on it. Or not.
Let the extra's cool and put them in the fridge in your choice of container for easy reheating (1 minute  microwave, or a little longer in the oven) and have them all week.

See how easy? And that is at least one more breakfast for the following week. Or not.

Living in the Land of Counterpane

Just reflecting on the blessings of sick days. 

Since last Thursday we have had a convalescing kid in the house. First D, then A (this is a common train of germs here--D to A often skipping M-we hope). 

Although I hate it when my kids are sick ("Don't say "hate" Mama!"), I am pleasantly relieved when it is a sickness that doesn't involve the stomach. 

I am thanking God for this and for the fact that I know, in a few days, all will be well. I pray and offer my little sacrifices for the mama's and kids who don't have the comfort of assured recovery and minor symptoms. 

Sore throats can be a little difficult to treat (who wants to swallow ANYTHING when your throat hurts) but, so far they have been short lived and have allowed just enough energy for listening to stories, watching and playing on the iPad (kids have it so easy these days!) and quiet play. 

I thought of the poem by Robert Louis Stevenson when I saw this scene yesterday. 

The Land of Counterpane

WHEN I was sick and lay a-bed,
I had two pillows at my head,
And all my toys beside me lay
To keep me happy all the day.
And sometimes for an hour or so	5
I watched my leaden soldiers go,
With different uniforms and drills,
Among the bed-clothes, through the hills;
And sometimes sent my ships in fleets
All up and down among the sheets;	10
Or brought my trees and houses out,
And planted cities all about.
I was the giant great and still
That sits upon the pillow-hill,
And sees before him, dale and plain,	15
The pleasant land of counterpane.

Watch for more this week about our last Sacramental Prep meeting this past weekend and about my changed opinion of soccer. 

"Let's Just Stop Catechizing Children!"

In Part 1 of my series of rants and ramblings on the state of religious education in the Catholic Church in America, I confessed where I was coming from and tried to explain my negative attitude while at the same time not making people in the official trenches feel hopeless. I hope I accomplished that. I also noted that I WAS in the trenches myself, and that my husband and I are catechizing our little corner of the parish the way the Church meant them to be catechized. In the home. 

So now I want to turn to what I think is actually happening in the parishes, based on my reading and observation, and maybe get to some ideas of what we might do better…or stop doing…or do over. We’ll see…

For the past 30 years at least, the way faith formation appears to work in the average parish is that we spend most of our time and resources on gathering children, as early as possible, into groups and catechizing them according to the general developmental state of that age group. Most parishes in this country use the model of the average American school, plugging in the Sacraments to the general age level that the diocese suggests: baptism = infant; Confession and Eucharist = Second Grade; Confirmation = all over the map but usually high school. Add to these programs Youth Ministry (which may be more catechetical than social, or not). 

If you look at an average Sunday bulletin, the majority of information, especially in the fall and spring, are about faith formation of children and School news. Next, we usually have all the parish ministries: lectoring, choir, social justice, pro-life ministries (which isn't always grouped in with social justice) and fellowship (I am sure there are others I am forgetting). 

We happen to be a part of a parish that has lots of opportunities for Adult faith formation, but for many parishes the least amount of time and resources appears to go to Adult education in the form of RCIA, marriage preparation, other marriage help (marriage encounter, Retrovaile). 

I decided to search out some statistics to see how this structure is working for the Church. According to statistics I found (which seem to ring true with my experience in parishes) more than half of the parishioners are not involved in any of these activities and this particular survey says that 14% are involved in "education or evangelism". I am assuming that this statistic applies mostly to people who are doing the educating and evaligizing, not receiving it. 

I also found a study quoted in this article which says that in the space of ten years there has been a 42% drop in infant baptisms, a 51% drop in adult baptism and a 45% drop in Catholic marriages. Other studies confirmed that somewhere between First Communion Preparation and Confirmation Preparation there is some drop off in attendance. And by the time those Confirmed kids get to college 85% of them have stopped going to Sunday Mass (according to the FOCUS website)

The book I reviewed last month confirmed this grim picture and especially focused on the fact that only a small percentage of those people involved in their parish life are what the author called “intentional disciples”. 

So why is this? I am sure much of it is due to the surrounding culture. Not only do we encounter immorality on TV, in popular movies and music, but we also encounter an attitude that denies objective truth and transcendent realities. The modern mind believes nothing really MEANS anything so you are free to make your own meaning. 

You could also argue that the content of our catechesis is anemic. That was certainly the case when I was growing up (though my elementary school was an exception). But, I think we have greatly improved that situation over the past 20 years. It’s not perfect, but textbooks and catechist training has greatly improved from the hippie peace, love and macramé days. 

So why are things so much worse? I would argue that the real problem is in THE WAY WE CATECHIZE. I mean the STRUCTURES used at the parish level (and driven by the diocese) to pass the Faith on to each generation. 

To begin with, we think too linearly (is that even a word?). We think we need to start with the youngest and move through the ages up to adult. If we get them when they are young, as the adage goes, we will make faithful grownups. Kinda like school. 

In a nutshell, the current model looks something like this (for the moment, I will leave aside the Catholic school aspect): 

Step 1: A child is brought for baptism and parents take a brief course/rehearsal 

Step 2: A certain percentage of those parents bring the child back at about age 6 or 7 and child is put in grade level class. They pass through a class or two and receive Eucharist and Confession. Some continue for awhile after that if there is time in the child's schedule and parent doesn't have to fight too hard to get them there.

Step 3: A certain percent of the parents who went through step 2 bring their child back in time to get Confirmation. A small percentage of those kids get involved in some youth program until High School gets too busy. 

Step 4: A HUGE percentage of the kids confirmed go to college and stop practicing their faith. 

Step 5: A fraction come back and want to get married in the church. 

Step 6: A smaller fraction of that group begin step 1 again. 

This is what the numbers show. We are no longer spinning our wheels. We are sliding backwards. 

This structure is based on the assumption that the best place to catechize the next generation is in the parish hall. And if we only had better textbooks, and thoroughly trained catechists we could transform the parish. 

And parents get this idea that it’s the job of the experts in the parish office to catechize their kids and get them ready for the sacraments. They treat the parish Faith Formation office like a school. “I hand my kids over to you and you educate them. It is my job to get them there and help them with their homework and support the school as much as I can. It is your job to do the rest.”

The problem is that the Faith is not passed on this way. Especially not to children. You don’t become an intentional disciple of Jesus Christ without a personal connection to someone who loves Him and has earned your respect. For children that is primarily their parents. 

So, I propose we need to look at the this completely differently. Parents are so crucial to the faith of the child, but we practically ignore them, especially for those early years when they are meant to be laying the foundation of faith for their young children. 

Here are my ideas: 

Focus on the core, what Blessed John Paul II called “the primordial sacrament”, marriage. The family. The parish is made up of families (not just parents with kids, but marriages without children, and adults in post-marriage (widowed), pre-marriage (single looking to marriage), broken marriage (divorced separated), or those called minister to all the others (discerning vocations, single for life, etc.). If the sacrament of marriage, as foundation of the family, is at the center then everything radiates out from there. 

One way to do this is to take advantage of threshold moments by making personal connections and providing support, social contexts and educational opportunities. 

Threshold moment #1 is the Sacrament of Matrimony. Getting married in the Catholic Church is like making a public declaration of faith in God and the intention to follow Him and His Church.* Lets take them at their word and help them make real connections to their parish. I am thinking of mentoring families (many parishes use this idea for marriage prep, so how can that carry over to the first years of marriage as well), retreats meant for newlyweds, learning opportunities, personal invitations to Mass and other liturgical events. 

Threshold moment #2 is the Sacrament of Baptism. When a couple bring their baby for baptism they are making a commitment, again, to the Catholic Faith. Lets take them at their word and begin immediately to prepare them to bring their baby to Faith. I am thinking connecting them again with mentor families, helping them to form personal, long lasting relationships with other families. Maybe classes in child development from a faith perspective. The Catechesis of the Good Shepherd comes to mind as well. 

Threshold moment #3 First Sacraments. If we have done a good job with the first two thresholds, we should have many more families ready to take this on. Those that haven’t been tuned in for the first years of their child’s life will get the idea quickly that it is their job to pass the Faith on to their child. We just need to help THEM do it. 

I know that most parishes really strive to make the parish a “family friendly” place, but I think they often miss the mark. Imagine if more parishes had frequent celebrations of the feasts and seasons of the year that were both liturgical and social, but less about entertaining kids or raising money for the school. What if every parish had a big celebration on the feast of their name saint that included a liturgy (Mass, processions, singing and decorations) as well as lots of great food (with fun connections to the saint or his life) and some entertainment for all ages (music, a play about the life of the saint)? What if other major feasts were treated in the same way—again, less about raising money and kiddie fun and more about real interaction between the grownups in the parish. 

As you can tell, I am in agreement with Joann McPortland over at Patheos when she said "Let's stop catechizing children." Of course I am in favor of children BEING catechized (as is Joann), but the current school-like format that completely absorbs all the parish funds and energies is NOT working. We need to focus on the grown-ups. 

* I have a mental blog post about this. It is tentatively called What if Getting Married in the Catholic Church was Like Joining the Marines. 

What We're Reading Wednesday (late afternoon/evening)!

I am joining the folks over at www.housewifespice.com for a late What We're Reading Wednesday link up. 

What we're reading aloud these days:

A month or so ago we started reading aloud from The Story of Trapp Family Singers as part of our evening routine. We chose the book as much for Jim and I as for the kids. I had read the book years ago, on the eve of my move to Steubenville to study theology. So reading it again, as a wife and mother, was interesting. The kids have enjoyed it mostly, and though it isn't written for children there have been many funny scenes and life lessons for them. 

If your only connection with the Trapp family is through the movie The Sound of Music, you will be surprised and enchanted. Though the details were enhanced for the sake of excitement in the movie, in real life the decision and the consequences of escaping the Nazi occupation of Austria were, I think, even more moving. 

But that is just the beginning of the book. You will learn all about their life in America as well. I have done very little on-the-fly editing as I have read aloud, but I am approaching the most moving chapter of the book (which includes a death scene) and I am doing more editing at this point. You'll have to judge you audience….or just read it for your own pleasure!

For our lunch-time, tea-time, any-time reading we have returned to one of our favorite families, the Moffats! The Moffat Museum is our last Moffat book (though some of them were read to one kid, rather than all three so we may revisit one or two others!)

Janey Moffat (my alter-ego) has had a brilliant idea. It all starts with the old bike, called Bikey, which they all learned to ride on and which sits against the old barn behind a bush because no one can bear to part with it. Bikey becomes the first artifact in the soon-to-be-famous Moffat Museum. 

The Moffats life is a peek into a different era of childhood, in which kids have lots of free time and interact, on their own, with the adult world of shop owners and elderly neighbors. 

Highly recommended read alouds for the under 80 set. 

On My Kindle: 

The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart

I decided to check this out for future reference since I read about it on some homeschooling blogs. It seems that it was being read by kids older than mine so I didn't attempt to read it to them. I am glad I chose that route. 

A recent experience with a book from audible (The Candymakers) caused me to be more cautious. We started listening to the book and were all enjoying it when I started to get some hints that the characters in the book had had some traumatic experiences which were going to become part of the storyline soon. A little online research confirmed my suspicions. Though it didn't seem like it was going to be written in a horribly dramatic or scary way, I just didn't think we needed ideas that my worry some of the more sensitive Kennedy kids, or their Mama. 

Well, The Mysterious Benedict Society has a similar storyline. The main characters are orphans, one was abandoned, another ran away from neglectful parents (apparently, but both of those story lines may change) and they are all subject to bullying and mean kids. 

While I am enjoying the kids as spies narrative along with the way the love of truth and the virtues of honesty, kindness, and hard work are valued, I am not sure the kids are ready for it. 

Frankly, I am not sure when a kid is ready to hear about people being mean or cruel to children. We have set aside a number of highly touted among the homeschool crowd (who I tend to trust on these sorts of things for the most part) books due to a storyline of adults or other children being cruel. 

Which explains why we love the Moffats so much! (and the Fairchild Family, and Betsy Tacy and Tib, and the Little House Books…)

In my study bag…

I have a bag of non-fiction books that I am reading and hoping to eventually write reviews about. I won't share them yet except to say that one is about the human body, one is about the Theology of the Body, and one is about the Body of Christ. 

Now, lets hope I actually get around to finishing them and writing about them soon!